conspiracy
I am a conspiracy theorist.
I care to bring together (con) and breathe (spirare) forth a more beautiful world.
Conspirer: Together, we breathe.
We are conspiracy, prophecy, fabric of becoming,
ocean of darkest stars,
undoing and delusion.
/De/ is down, away from, in detriment.
/Lu/ of lucid, luminous, lucida—brightest star you can see with your naked eye.
When did you last stand naked before the sky?
A planet in its detriment finds other ways to express itself. It must loosen its habits, open its arms, and reach out. There is wisdom in the stretch and letting go.
To let go is play is ludre is ludicrous.
Ridiculous jest and giggle.
Laughter is a rattle.
Rattle is a bell.
Chime the spell of a new beginning.
May we see the false impressions of our fixed beliefs.
May we know our own deceptions.
We are hallucination, phantom, and figment.
Fall back from your naked eye
and feel the dissolving of what you thought was clear.
Remember the cree cree of Catachresis: How wrong are you willing to let yourself be?
Can you see the monster in the mirror?
Our dreams are full of ghosts. Ghosts sing, too.
Follow an arc to the bottom of the sea and ask the octopus in her den. She knows how to make room for the luminosity we can’t yet see.
This, too, is conspiracy. Together, we breathe as dream.
We fall back from what we think we see and move toward something else. We must do this even (especially) in the dark.
Ask the worms and beetles and mushrooms and bats. Attune to the spider who weaves in the far corner of your cavern.
There are sextillions of stars in what we call the sky. Infinitely more than the thousands we may see on the darkest night. Each of our bodies has a fascial network with millions of nerves. Ganglia of wisdom paths for our hearts to guide our brains.
Our anatomy of consciousness is mycelial awe—
angel wing bridges of jellyfish hum.
We are only this.
And together, we are beyond the sky.
Uncountable as we let ourselves fall away,
dissolve, descend
under the moon’s naked eye,
unknowing, soft, and bare—
de lucida,
in the detriment of our clearest star,
together, we breathe.
*
as delight, Melissa
If you appreciate what I share and would like to support my writing work (and receive nourishment for yourself each week), I welcome you to become a paid subscriber of Noticing Matters. Your support brings me encouragement and motivation to find new questions and nuances to share in ways that feel most true and aligned with how we might learn to be more fully alive as humans in our bountiful and glorious more-than-human world.
I’ve been reading the full Emergent Strategy series by adrienne maree brown. I had to return Loving Corrections to the library so it’s not included in the photo. I am grateful for her work and all of her books, but if I had to recommend one for this moment it would be We Will Not Cancel Us.
I know I recommend The Emerald quite a lot. I doubt this is going to change anytime soon as Josh Schrei and his team create such exquisite content. I highly (like highest of highly) recommend the episode (Why Mindfulness Isn’t Enough), especially if you are someone who teaches or shares mindfulness practices with others.
I wrote about Gil Hedley’s Nerve Tour for weekly subscribers back in September after I attended his session here in Pittsburgh, PA. It was, hands-down, one of the most transformative and beautiful experiences I’ve had in 2024. What he shares on this tour is a pure transmission of love and curiosity. I linked to his work in the essay above (“fascial network with millions of nerves”), but here is the link again if you’d like to check out his work and see the few dates he has left on the tour this year.
And here are a few songs that are a balm for my soul right now and you might enjoy too…
Learn more about me and my work: www.melissaabutler.com
Reach out to inquire about workshops, protocol facilitation, or consultation: melissa@melissaabutler.com
Thank you for being you.
Your attention and your heart are important.
You are matter that matters.